Thursday, February 12, 2009
A revealing photo....
My mother and I were close....a 'deep connection' it was, however there was deep anguish and anger. This photo, to me, illustrates that troubled and anguished relation we had.
Twenty seven hours before my mother's death, I awoke in the early morning at 3:30am. Although this in itself is not unusual, I was suddenly swept with a deep 'fear of death.' I was completely perplexed with this feeling as I am a Licensed Practical Nurse and have worked extensively with the dying. So my feelings on the death process, I have always been comfortable with. Hence, my mystification and bewilderment with the seeming antithesis of my feelings on this natural biological and spiritual process. I was so taken aback with the experience, that I mentioned it to my roommate. Nothing like it has ever happened to me before.
The next day I was awakened at 6am by a nurse from the Actor's Home telling me that my mother had unexpectedly passed in her sleep at 5:30am. I know now that the experience I had the night before was my mother's spirit 'saying goodbye.' However, I believe my interpretation may have been a little off.